i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
