See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
porn star boner night. come get it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
