i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Come share oat with me in your robe
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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