another moral hangover. fuck.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
COCAINE IS GR8
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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