What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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