I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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