He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
