Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
