So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
