I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
