it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
