I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
