I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
