I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
