Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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