we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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