WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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