Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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