Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
