Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
