Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
