I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
