i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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