there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
