He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
