We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We are two peas in an std pod
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
