I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
