Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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