So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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