Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
