; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
