just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
