Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
