Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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