Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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