i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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