do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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