if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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