I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize