I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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