I want to have your abortion
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
