I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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