so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
