I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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