So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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