I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
