I could make wine with my vomit
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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