Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
