i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
