Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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