seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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