apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
