about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
