We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
