i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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