the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
