I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
